Living with ageing parents

Staying with ageing parents brings a sense of relief because now they are safer and keep an eye on nutrition and other treatments. It is an instinct for most adult children to worry about their ageing parents.  As parents grow older it is difficult to watch and at times painful to see the gradual loss of independence as well as the increased reliance on others. The incapacity is not always physical, but can also relate to their mental health which can pose a challenge if not appropriately addressed. 

Parents to be cared for in their own home

There are a couple of options to consider when faced with an ageing parent(s) who is no longer capable of living on their own. The easiest would always be for the parent(s) to continue living in their home with the help of an assistant (full-time or part-time helper), depending on the level of assistance needed. It is important to note that this arrangement can be emotionally, physically, and financially taxing on the adult children due to the constant coordination of activities, especially if the children live elsewhere.

Retirement Village or moving in with children

Alternatively, the parent(s) can move in with one of the children or consider the option of placing them in a retirement village.  

All the above-mentioned options have advantages and disadvantages which will require careful consideration to find a suitable option that will enable quality time with your mom/dad or both parents.

Other related issues to consider are the following:

1.     Property – it is important to decide on the property of the parent(s) or the adult child moving in with the parent(s).

2.     Employment- This applies in cases where the adult child who is moving in with the parent(s) is still working.  There might be a need to change employment to suit the situation

3.     Support system – Apart from having the assistance of a helper, it will also be imperative to have additional support from family and friends to assist with “granny duties” on short notice.

4.     Finances – Discuss finances with the parent(s) and other siblings

5.     Social life – Taking care of your aging parent(s) is a 24/7 engagement, irrespective of their level of dependence. The fact is, your ageing parents will always demand your attention, much more than you have budgeted for.